If I Were a Boy

October 02, 2009


If I were a boy, I would be tall, sexy, buff, and use cheesy pickup lines like, “Girl, you must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night.” I know I’m not the only woman who has contemplated what they would look like or how they would act if they were a boy.

My older brother, Michael, is definitely the closest thing to a male version of myself. So, I imagine if I were a boy, I would be a lot like him. Growing up I was always envious of fact that he never had to endure sitting patiently while our mom washed and hot combed his hair, he always got to play on the skins team while I was on the losing shirts team, and the only thing he knows about cramps is the one time he caught a charley horse during a football game. My experiences growing up with an athletic older brother left me a little resentful of how much easier it is for men to balance sports and every day life.

So, if I were a boy…
1. I would have no more bad hair days. My workout schedule revolves around the days when my hair needs to be perfect and when I can get away with wearing headbands, hats and ponytails. When my brother doesn’t want to go to the barber, he simply pulls out his clippers and shaves his head.
2. I would run shirtless. Now I’ve run shirtless a few times, but I feel self-conscious, and always get a few weird stares. When my brother takes off his shirt, girls whistle and occasionally a few guys look.
3. I wouldn’t have boobs…This goes back to point 2 and by the way, I’m still looking for the perfect sports bra.
4. Weight loss would be easier. On average, men lose four pounds a week as opposed to women who lose two.
5. I would wear really baggy running shorts. I have a problem finding running shorts that are cute and don’t grip my butt or fall off my waist.
6. Stubble would be sexy…Nothing is worse then getting ready to put on shorts and realizing that your unshaved legs look like a werewolf. Wait, I take that back, unshaved armpits are worse.

I think it’s some much easier to be a guy and be fit. Ladies, do you agree that guys have it easy?

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